


Alone Again, Naturally

by FandomFriend



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gen, More like a drabble, Patton Angst, Rant Fic, Rejection, Sad Ending, Sad Patton, almost panic attack?, failed comfort, just sad, not really though-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomFriend/pseuds/FandomFriend
Summary: Patton knows that he’s important to Thomas. Without him, Thomas would be emotionless. But he starts to question just how important he is to the other sides... so he tests out his theory.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	Alone Again, Naturally

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh this is my first fic I’ve ever posted, but please enjoy! Comment if you would like more! Thanks for reading!!

Patton breathed in shakily, tears threatening to fall. It was all _too much_ , the realization that his contributions were not important, that they didn’t truly need him, he was just a convenient source of happiness. 

“Pat...” Roman tried you reach forward and give Patton a hug, but _why_ in all the world would Roman want to comfort him? To help someone he didn’t truly need or want?

Well, probably because that would look bad, to not help someone, being a prince and all. 

“Patton, I am so sorry, this is just a misunderstanding!” Roman outstretched a hand, one that Patton could easily take. He could take it, and they could welcome him back and pretend it never happened and everything could go back to the way it was.

But Patton didn’t _want_ life the way it was. Where he was shunned and ignored and forgotten and unimportant and just so alone.

He didn’t take the hand.

He couldn’t take the hand. Because then what would happen? Roman would ask, in that voice that just sounded like he cared so so much, he would ask ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’

And then what would Patton say to that? How is Patton supposed to explain that he had just wanted someone to worry? Because that sounded so bad. Just so... selfish and bad. But all his life, all he ever did was worry for everyone else. And he just wanted someone to worry for him too. Was that so wrong? He just needed a little reassurance that someone would be there. That’s okay, right?

And then no one ever showed up. He waited for three whole days. He sat in his room, he colored, he watched TV, he did everything all by himself and no one came to him. No one came to see him. No one came to ask why.

That’s the moment that Patton truly realized that he relied and cared for the others so so much. His teacher, his hero, his dark strange son... But how could he have been such a fool to expect all of that to be reciprocated?

He was jerked away from his thoughts, just as the hand was jerked away from his sight. He looked up to see that Roman was holding his hand to his chest, as if Patton’s rejection had burned him in some way. At least Roman had the mind to look hurt and confused.

“I shouldn’t have said anything! I’m sorry, Kiddos, let’s just forget this ever happened, alright?” Patton offered a smile that was too forced to fool anyone, and he knew it too. “I can just go to my room and-“

“Patton, this is unreasonable,” Logan interrupted. Patton could hear the tremble in the logical side’s voice, despite the attempt to not show any emotion. “Please.” Logan took a step forward, and Patton shrunk away from him. This made Logan stop abruptly in his steps before stepping back again. 

This wasn’t good for Logan’s repression, thinking that showing emotion only hurt others. It made Patton want to forget his own problem, pretend it was fine, all to help Logan. But... he wasn’t sure he could at the moment.

So instead he decided to stand, frozen in time, waiting to see if they would just _let him be._ And the worst part? Patton didn’t know if that’s what he wanted or not.

“How could you ever think that we don’t care for you?” Patton glanced up and found himself staring into dark amber eyes, adorned by a dark black eyeshadow. “We screwed up, I know, but you can’t just forget all the times we have been there too! All the times we’ve told you that we loved you!” Desperation was ringing in Virgil’s voice. And it almost made Patton give in. 

But that was just it, wasn’t it? He always gave in. Because every time that Patton started effecting Thomas, that’s when they cared. Thomas’ latest breakup was making him sad? That’s when they decided to care. Emotional distress over the wedding? That’s when they chose to try and help.

And he hadn’t noticed it before, but all those times he felt down were the times that Thomas felt down. So would they even notice if it didn’t effect Thomas?

No, they wouldn’t. Patton had just proven that. Thomas was happy, so they kept to themselves.

“I do remember all those times, Virgil.” Patton kept his gaze trained at the ground. “All of them. And... I cherished them, for a very long time.” He lifted his head, a short burst of braveness allowing him to look into the eyes of the purple clad side. “But do you really love me? Or do you just love what I do for Thomas? For you?”

That stopped Virgil in his tracks. He hesitated, trying to think of a reply, but that second was answer enough.

“I know, Virgil,” Patton said quietly. He managed a weak smile, weirdly real for the moment. “I know.”

Virgil’s breathing quickened slightly. Not enough to be a panic attack, and because Virgil was actively aware of the change, it wouldn’t lead to a panic attack either. 

It’s funny, how well Patton knew them. How much he cared. How he still cares, despite all circumstances. They could outright say that they hated him and Patton would still care.

If Virgil would’ve needed Patton’s help right there, he would’ve given it. He would’ve dropped everything to make sure that family was okay, but they didn’t need it. And this was just another point to prove that. 

He sunk out.

There was a certain peace to knowing the truth, even a bad truth. Knowing that all the lies were out in the open and to know what people truly thought about you. Internally, Patton laughed to himself. Logan was right, data doesn’t lie. 

There were a few weeks after the incident that the others would try to come in to his room. They would try to talk to him. He never answered, but he did listen. He had become accustomed to Virgil’s ‘Daily Updates’ that came each evening. 

But every good thing comes to end.

More time passed. The updates stopped. Patton did his job. He was happy when Thomas should’ve been happy, sad when the situation called for it. All from the comfy little space of his own room. 

And they all managed.

And if you looked at it in a certain light, Patton was right the whole time.

But still to this day, if you asked him, he wouldn’t give a straight answer as to what he was right about. It hurt too much to say out loud. Not that anyone else would understand that, but it was true.

So, even if he proved his point, why wasn’t he happier?


End file.
